The Biggest Differences Between Parenting in the U.S. and France, According to an American Living Abroad

There’s something about the French that encourages Americans to make comparisons that we inevitably fall short of. Books about how to eat (and be thin) like a French woman and how to upgrade Obedient, well-fed and well-rested children like a French parent, it became a national bestseller. It’s as if we’re all watching the French nonchalantly sipping wine and eating baguettes (while their children politely sit nearby eating vegetables) and wonder what exactly they have that we don’t. Could we be this effortlessly elegant if we knew their secret?

The list of things the French do better than us seems endless. They have better bread, cheese and produce, they have better fashion sense and better cosmetics, less stress and overall better health.

American parents, on the other hand, are under so much pressure that the US surgeon general was tempted to make a statement. recommendation statement It’s about our mental health.

Unlike our French counterparts, American parents are exhausted, sleep-deprived, cash-strapped, and driven by the whims of our little dictators. We would do anything to take a break.

Some of France’s advantages can be attributed to policies such as: European Union bans chemicals in food and other products (which explains the tendency of some American parents to feed their babies European baby food), universal health care, subsidized child care, and paid parental leave (though France’s 16-week paid maternity leave – 25 days for fathers – paltry compared to the 12+ months offered in some other European countries).

But much of France’s advantage comes from something more elusive: a superior quality of life that dwarfs America’s.

Readers are fascinated by a recent event, for example. HuffPost piece An American mother living in France describes the biggest culture shock she ever experienced: her son’s school lunch.

How different could a school lunch be? Author Erica Jackson Curran defined it as “a four-course meal consisting of a starter, main course, cheese course, and dessert.” For this reason fly French.

Jackson Curran wrote that his son’s school lunch at his home in Virginia was a “quick, no-frills affair” and included menu items such as “burgers, chicken nuggets, hot dogs and pizza.” All were served on disposable trays with plastic cutlery thrown away after the meal was finished. Jackson Curran wrote that his son complained that “lunch was his least favorite part of the school day.”

But he described his son’s cafeteria in Bordeaux as “a cozy yellow room where students sat at tables for eight.” The food is served on real plates with real cutlery, which is washed and reused the next day. “There is a jug of water on each table, and the students pour it into their own glasses and refill them.”

One day’s menu consisted of: “lentil salad (lentil salad), aiguillettes de saumon meuniere (with butter-fried salmon) ratatouilleEmmental for the cheese plate and organic fruit salad for dessert,” Jackson Curran wrote.

This might all seem like a lot of effort for a non-academic part of the school day, but what Jackson Curran noticed was that for the French, lunchtime was a time for a different kind of learning.

“Lunch is a part of education where students learn about proper nutrition, a balanced diet, and the value of trying new things. “They practice socialization, self-sufficiency, and sustainability while enjoying a well-deserved rest in the middle of a busy day,” he wrote.

Perhaps it is this attention to detail that makes the French experience more civilized and enjoyable. The result is the same; kids eat lunch, but the process feels less rushed and more enjoyable.

Recently Instagram duo Annabel and Dale (username weremorethanmoms) shared a post video About the differences in parenting in France, we have divided them into five points. It’s no surprise that it caught the attention of her American followers and the post went viral.

Annabel, who asked that her last name be withheld, told HuffPost that when she spent this July and August in France with her toddler, she immediately noticed a difference in the behavior of children and parents.

“Every day in Paris, we would see children sitting quietly (without screens) while their parents ate and spent quality time together. Children were playing independently while their parents socialized at the park or worked on the computer at a coffee shop,” Annabel told HuffPost.

As mentioned in the video, French parents go about their daily errands with their children, without worrying about how they will have fun while running errands or stopping by a café. Perhaps French parents believe that companionship teaches children important life skills and that education has value in itself.

Second, the video highlights the superior quality of French baby products, which can be attributed to stricter EU standards.

“Clean products were readily available in pharmacies and grocery stores, were at an accessible price point, and were less processed than mainstream products available in the United States,” Annabel said.

The third thing Annabel noticed was that French kids, unlike their little American counterparts, didn’t spend all day slurping purses of fruit puree and pulling Cheerios or puffs from portable snack containers. French children happily consume three meals a day plus one. goutor afternoon snack.

“I love a concept gout because children eat balanced, nutritious meals and also get their own meals. gout (usually consisting of a sweeter snack/treat), which promotes the concept of no restrictions, everything in moderation,” said Annabel.

The video also notes that compact travel strollers appear to be the norm. It might be the narrow streets of Europe, or maybe it’s Americans feeling the need to buy bulky strollers to fit our massive SUVs and pickup trucks.

Finally, the video highlights a less judgmental attitude towards other parents’ choices about when to return to work and how to feed their babies.

“I talked to many French mothers about the social pressures they feel around breastfeeding, returning to work, taking time for self-care, etc. They shared that they don’t feel any particular pressure to be a parent,” Annabel said.

“They just did what was right for themselves and their families. Judging/comparing (of others and themselves) was not something they ever engaged in.” He noted that the sample size was small, but it was “refreshing” to hear all of this.

Some commentators have noted that French parents haven’t been completely free of this pressure, but it’s nice to think there’s a place in the world where your friends and family won’t react with the same indifference to you exposing your breasts or pulling out a bottle of formula to breastfeed. feed your child.

Although the relaxed attitude of some French parents can be attributed to benefits such as universal healthcare and paid leave, Annabel said: “I felt like French culture was much more relaxed and that French society put less pressure on mothers to act/act in a certain way.”

Maybe the grass is always greener, but it’s hard not to envy the sight of toddlers enjoying a four-course meal with real silverware and china, or the promise of afternoon hot chocolate. Le sigh.This article was first published on: HuffPost.